5 weeks out

[Xero]

Hey everyone,

Haven't posted here in a very long time but I've been lurking, browsing and learning pretty much every day. Gonna make the effort to be a little more active now.

Anyway, I'm 21 years old and 5 weeks out from my next show. Was supposed to compete last year but some issues with enlisting into the military forced me to scrap that plan.

http://imageshack.com/a/img921/328/fTlZsP.jpg

Picture was taken after 45 minutes of LISS fasted cardio upon waking. Morning weight is fluctuating somewhere between 84kg to 85.5kg these days.

Currently using the most amount of gear I've ever taken in my life, started off with just 1ml x Med Mutasion every day but I recently threw in 1ml x Shredded mixed with a few other MTS orals every day. Gonna cruise for the rest of the year after I'm done with this, at most throw in some 300mg of Deca to make use of the rebound and grow if blood work permits.

Anyway, gear totals as of now:

200mg x EQ ED
100mg x Primo ED
125mg x Tren Ace ED
125mg x Mast Prop ED
50mg x Trestolone ED
1mg x Methyl Tren ED
100mg x Winstrol ED
100mg x Anavar ED
25mg x Halotestin ED
50mcg x T3 ED
80mcg x Clen ED
1mg x Arimidex EOD

At about 3 weeks out I will increase Halo to 45mg. Planning to run everything, including injectables, all the way through the show.

Diet wise I started in March with high carbs, moderate protein and low fats. As of now, my macronutrient breakdown is as such:

50g x Carbs
370g x Protein
30g x Fat

Food sources are mainly sutchi fillets, broccoli, and either white rice or some simple sugars pre and post workout. I am not using insulin; just playing around with carb sources to see what gives me a better pump.

Training wise I am on a push/legs/pull split. Cardio is at 45 minutes fasted every morning. Am thinking of whether I should throw in another session in the evenings just for these last few weeks.

I know my legs are the weakest point, and I've been trying very hard to bring them up. I've been suffering from shifted kneecaps and recently (just a few months ago) went through surgery to remove my kneecaps. As such, I haven't been able to do free bar squats and likely won't be until a good part of next year when I'm done with rehabilitation and physiotherapy. I've been trying to compensate by increasing overall volume on my leg days via machines and putting in more focus on tension and controlling my reps and so on. Any ideas on what else I could try would really be appreciated.

I currently have no plans to use any diuretics as I'm not experienced with those, but I am open to the idea if anyone is willing to teach me. I don't plan to do anything fancy for peak week, maybe just deplete as per normal then start carb loading the Friday before and Saturday through the show.

Any advice, especially with regards to peak week, will be very much welcome. Thank you for taking the time to read this and hopefully I won't screw up come show day.

Cheers.

UPDATE 30 July, 2016:

Just wanted to update everyone... I'm about 3 weeks out right now, weight this week was somewhere between 80.6kg and 81.8kg. Thinking about whether I should try to suck down for u75kg because the weigh in is on 18 August at around 7pm while the actual show is on 20 August and I step on stage around 1:30pm. Just quite wary because for my previous (and first) competition I tried sucking down too by abusing the sauna and it ended up quite badly where I wasn't able to fill out and was crazy flat on stage and I don't want to make the same mistake again. If I don't try to push it I'm guessing I'll end up somewhere around 76kg or 77kg come show day. If anyone wants to know, I'm about 173cm/174cm or 5'8 and a half.

http://imageshack.com/a/img924/8241/TgvdfI.jpg

http://imageshack.com/a/img923/9875/QfTNO1.jpg

http://imageshack.com/a/img923/4010/Ar5BQU.jpg

UPDATE 9 August, 2016:

About 11 days out today. Weight somehow went up to between 83kg to 85kg despite food and cardio staying the same.

http://imageshack.com/a/img924/3075/XlOGNe.jpg

UPDATE 12 August, 2016:

About a week out now, depletion starts on Sunday. Carbs have been at 0g for quite awhile now and will likely be until Thursday night after my weigh-in. Of course, that may change depending on how I look seeing as I don't plan to try to make weight at all. I started water loading about two days back, where water is at 12 litres now.

http://imageshack.com/a/img923/4712/KzBjGr.jpg

[BIGDADDY]

Sorry, for some reason this was moderated and I didn't approve the post. I was just about to mention the legs but you already picked it up. That is a hell of a lot of gear there for your size. Any reason why you need that much? seriously... it's a shit load.

[Xero]

Sorry, for some reason this was moderated and I didn't approve the post. I was just about to mention the legs but you already picked it up. That is a hell of a lot of gear there for your size. Any reason why you need that much? seriously... it's a shit load.

Thanks! Anyway yes, I agree, I don't need that much. Between 22 weeks out to about 5 weeks out I was on 1ml of Mutasion, 50mcg of T3 and cycling Clen in and out. I originally intended to run that all the way through the show but at 6 weeks out I had blood work done and my values were all within range so I decided I'd push the envelope a little for the final few weeks. I might not be at any high level as of now and there's the whole law of diminishing returns thing when it comes to stacking compounds but I think the general consensus between athletes would be to (want to) make use of every bit of advantage they can get their hands on when it comes to a competition, no matter how small, and of course with the drive to win comes some necessary risks. Whether it's worth it or not is subjective, but I reckon at just over 4 weeks of pushing these high doses I should be alright health-wise, but I am taking precautions by supplementing heavily with TUDCA, LIV52, minerals and the like.

Also, genetically even though I was/am a skinny kid, I've always been cursed with thick skin and I've never been vascular except in the forearms and arms when I'm lean so the compounds I've chose to push are meant to help with hardening and drying out. I've also been quite curious about compounds like methyl tren, halo and trest for awhile so I saw this as an opportunity to try it out because I otherwise wouldn't have a use for them for the bulk of the year.

I'm less than 30 days away now and blood pressure taken this morning was fine. I have another blood test scheduled the day after the show so we'll see where that puts me when it comes to recovery.

[KarmaHKSAR]

I mean no harm.
u could just try
hard n lean 1ml ED
Tren E 300mg per week
Anavar 50mg ED
Clen 80mg ED
alrdy enough for ur condition focus with meal plan n training mate.
I think u can still lose 4kgs aleast water.

[Powertard]

You look insane!!!!

[Xero]

I mean no harm.
u could just try
hard n lean 1ml ED
Tren E 300mg per week
Anavar 50mg ED
Clen 80mg ED
alrdy enough for ur condition focus with meal plan n training mate.
I think u can still lose 4kgs aleast water.

Hey brother, appreciate the advice. Maybe I'll try that for my next prep except sub Tren E for Tren Ace because I don't like the former. But as of right now it's really too last minute to make such sudden changes plus in terms of gear I already have the exact amounts of what I need to finish up this prep. Thank you for the input though, hope you're having a great weekend.


You look insane!!!!

Thank you my friend, been following your threads for the past year or so and I really hope things will pick up for you sooner than later.

ANYWAY,

Just wanted to update everyone... I'm about 3 weeks out right now, weight this week was somewhere between 80.6kg and 81.8kg. Thinking about whether I should try to suck down for u75kg because the weigh in is on 18 August at around 7pm while the actual show is on 20 August and I step on stage around 1:30pm. Just quite wary because for my previous (and first) competition I tried sucking down too by abusing the sauna and it ended up quite badly where I wasn't able to fill out and was crazy flat on stage and I don't want to make the same mistake again. If I don't try to push it I'm guessing I'll end up somewhere around 76kg or 77kg come show day. If anyone what's to know, I'm about 173cm/174cm or 5'8.

http://imageshack.com/a/img924/8241/TgvdfI.jpg

http://imageshack.com/a/img923/9875/QfTNO1.jpg

http://imageshack.com/a/img923/4010/Ar5BQU.jpg

[Xero]

16 days out today, never been a vascular person, so waking up to this made me very happy.

http://imageshack.com/a/img923/4909/kLayfl.jpg

[Powertard]

Wow!

Dream body right here

How's bloods?

[Xero]

Wow!

Dream body right here

How's bloods?

Blood pressure a little on the high end of the normal range and E2 is quite low. Everything else is fine so I think once I get off Tren and the orals and stop abusing Adex while putting Test back in 17 days from now things should go back to normal.

How is your situation man things getting any better?

[Powertard]

So lipids etc are Good?
Very interested in a full metabolic pannel from you if you'd be kind enough to provide one. You are a very capable and gifted athlete it seems. You are doing great. Keep at it. Your body is a dream one and I only wish I had your capacity to achieve it for myself! Keep going and you'll get your dream of a pro card I'm sure. You are 21 with a body like this. Just keep your knee as safe as possible. Don't over exert it. Iirc with a patella injury you may end up with instability ending up with you causing damage to your patella tendon. Don't let that happen otherwise you're gonna be out for a long time.

Keep at it. you will go serious places I am sure of it.

My situation has regressed sadly. I am getting mental health support now but I fear it might be late

It seems I have suffered what is known as "autistic burn out" where a combination of exceptional stressors end up causing emotional and physical exhaustion to the point of mental collapse. Apparently it can take years to recover from.

Things that happened to me to trigger this:

Lost my job I worked my ass off for 2 yrs to get
Therefore lost my house
Therefore lost my medical treatment so my back injury regressed
Therefore chronic pain
House I was in was poorly insulated so I was freezing cold all the time and didn't while dieting in winter to 7% so I was freezing cold
No car to go to gym in so took a moped which took 50 mins to get to the gym while I am 7% bf in -5 degrees with it raining
Shitty neighbours partying waking me up throwing up outside my house
But the ultimate stressor was this crying infant which just did this really disturbing distressed whaling cry which made me stressed and worried and upset. The mother would shout "shut up " and swear which would make me even more worried so I was constantly worried about this poor child and it made me really anxious and sad for it and the crying kept me up all night breaking my sleep.
High eateogen and progesterone from test and tren gave me a weird reaction to the cry making me feel that I "had" to look after the child and made me feel distressed and worried and because I couldn't do anything to help it I was really fruaterated. It was such an odd thjng.
In addition to being on ttren and eq around Xmas time while dieting when and eq make a you hungry af while on tiny calories with all the feasts happening trying to stick to diet
In addition to tonnes of negative family issues that happened (illness in family and other stuff)
Lots of other misc stuff
This happened within the space of about 8-12 weeks all at once.
started hallucinating and shaking and legs and arms twigchjg and spazmjng due to the extreme stress. Got to the point I'd here that baby cry and I'd just drop what I was holding or collapse on the floor.

I had a breakdown now I seem to have lost a lot of skills and cannot seem to get back on track. Any minor stressor makea me flip out and then I spend the next day vegatative unable to do anything but sleep. Cannot even process information. It sucks badly.
For weeks and weeks I literally couldn't beven function. Just lay in bed couldn't even cook then would go to local takeaway get an entire pizza or a kebab have some of it then eat the rest Iovwr the next day and repeated that for like 8 weeks... eat it knowing full well it was like 4000-5000 calories and I legit sat around doing nothing so I was putting on like 3/4ths a lb of fat per day but I was so exhausted I cared but couldn't seem to do anything else.

Still in a deep rut which I seemingly cannot get out of which is deeply concerning considering I was always unusually motivated.s

Getting the help now but I am honest pretty far gone. Just frustrated that I kept begging for help before my mental state collapsed but I didn't get help until it got to the point where I have been nearly a vegetable for months on end.


Biggest issue by far is my mental state right now. Something has turned me into this....this...incapacitated vegative 5 year old incapable of basic tasks.

It's a shame. A mighty mighty shame. I was doing brilliant then as happiness was approached I got cut down and I seem to have the inability to climb back up.

It's almost like my soul has been sucked out of my body and I am this hollow chamber, like I have this hollow empty feeling in my chest stomach and head and my legs and arms feel heavy. I try and go for a walk and take in the scenery but nothing goes in like it feels like there is this blockaid between my eyes and brain it's like I see my surroundjgs but there is this film or something between my eyes and brain. I went for a walk the other day and just had a panic attack out of thin air and I wasn't even on any hormones apart from 200 test e.

Don't mean to sound dramatic but it really is like my psyche has been smashed and I've turened into an animal and doing what an animal does if it has nothing it needs to do to survive: moving as little as possible searching out for energy dense stuff and drinking water. Its a horrible feeling I desperately want to go and do what I want to do with my life but I literally cant right now I'm just seemingly hamatringed currently. Like I went and prepped a meal and I had to check the calories and macros etc 6 times on the packet cooked it wrong had a panic attack then went upstairs and passed out. It was horrible.

It's like my CNS has been totally fried.

[Xero]

^man that's terrible to hear. Really hope everything changes for the better by year-end man, just remember that when things get shitty and you hit rock bottom, the only other place you can go is back up.

Anyway, about 11 days out today. Weight somehow went up to between 83kg to 85kg despite food and cardio staying the same.

http://imageshack.com/a/img924/3075/XlOGNe.jpg

[Xero]

Update:

About a week out now, depletion starts on Sunday. Carbs have been at 0g for quite awhile now and will likely be until Thursday night after my weigh-in. Of course, that may change depending on how I look seeing as I don't plan to try to make weight at all. I started water loading about two days back, where water is at 12 litres now.

http://imageshack.com/a/img923/4712/KzBjGr.jpg

[Powertard]

Holy shit!!

[Powertard]

What a physique!

Amazing

[Xero]

FINALLY STEPPED ON STAGE TODAY!!!

The professional photos and official HD videos aren't out yet so here's a (still decently clear) video my friend.

https://instagram.com/p/BJVKkrRg17h/

[Powertard]

Looking great!

Truly wish I could be you, brother

Well done

[Xero]

Looking great!

Truly wish I could be you, brother

Well done

Hey thanks man, appreciate the kind words. Pretty sure you'll get where you wanna be one day, have faith.

Anyway, got some professional pics from the show in.

http://imageshack.com/a/img923/1857/5oKlPA.jpg

http://imageshack.com/a/img921/4332/uamU5p.jpg

http://imageshack.com/a/img921/996/dfsdr2.jpg

http://imageshack.com/a/img922/9918/i9koJO.jpg

http://imageshack.com/a/img922/8835/pzrCR1.jpg

[ironmaster]

Good job mate.
You have good shape and balance. Although you are not lean enough and really need to learn more about diet. Stay with it and work on your conditioning as this is your main weakness.

[Comerford]

Maybe doing so much cardio is keeping your legs away from growing.
You are not training for the Tour de France,are you?I guess,you don't want your legs to look and perform like the legs that an endurance athlete needs.

[Xero]

Good job mate.
You have good shape and balance. Although you are not lean enough and really need to learn more about diet. Stay with it and work on your conditioning as this is your main weakness.

Yes, understood. Definitely something I'd like to improve on. Thank you for the advice, will work on it.


Maybe doing so much cardio is keeping your legs away from growing.
You are not training for the Tour de France,are you?I guess,you don't want your legs to look and perform like the legs that an endurance athlete needs.

My legs are the way they are because of knee surgery; as stated in the first post I had my knee caps removed not too long ago. But yes, I do agree and am well aware of how they are my weakest point. I am working on it and will continue to work on it, both rehab and training wise.