A newbie guide to painless injections
A GUIDE TO PAINLESS INJECTIONS
A Guest Editorial From "Anna The Anabolic Babe"
by Anna Varr
I remember my first time. No, not that. I'm talking about my first time trying to inject
myself. It was equally as scary as the "other" first time but not nearly as pleasurable. At
any rate, both experiences were over in a couple of seconds.
To many bodybuilders experienced in steroid use, shooting up is a walk in the park. But
if you've never taken the plunge, so to speak, the idea of stabbing yourself and flooding
your bloodstream with a substance you bought from some guy who you know only as
"Big Lou", can be a little frightening to say the least.
Whether you're a newbie, a novice, a girlie-girl like me, or a veritable veteran at the fine
art of what amounts to anabolic hari-kari, there are a few tricks which can make the
experience a lot less painful. In fact, self injection should be pain-less.
I know, you're a big tough guy, and a little pain and maybe even a little blood, doesn't
bother you. Some people go out of their way to play down the dangers. I knew one guy
who used to do his injecting in the men's room of the gym and while prepping himself,
he'd place the hypodermic on the toilet tank. (At least he wiped it first.) Another
braintrust at the same gym was showing a newbie what kind of needles to use and he
removed the cap and stroked the pin with his filthy fingertips! "See," he said. "It's not too
bad." Yet another Neanderthal used to jab himself right through his sweatpants and shoot
the entire contents into his leg as fast as he could. He'd get bruises and abscesses and
shrug it all off. "Dat's what ya gotta do ta get big," he was fond of saying while smiling
through the three or four teeth he still had in his mouth. (And they say there aren't any
good men around worth dating.)
While the dangers and the pain associated with self injecting may be exaggerated,
there's no need to make it worse than it has to be. There are enough risks involved
without adding to them. So even if you're an old pro at this, what you're about to read
may make life a little easier. If you're a virgin and haven't yet mustered up the courage
(don't worry, I won't tell) then read this information very carefully.
Time for a disclaimer! The information about to be presented is purely hypothetical. I am
not encouraging anyone to engage in any activity that is either illegal or potentially
dangerous. This is for entertainment and informational purposes only so put away that
number for the law firm of Sheister, Stikum and Sckrew and listen up. As a matter of
fact, ignore it altogether.
Now, IF...I somehow were bitten by a poisonous snake and there were no qualified
medical practitioners around and my life depended on injecting myself with the antidote,
this is how I'd do it.
Here's the How, What, Where, Why and When of painless injecting.
WHERE
The injection site I'd pick would be the glutes. It's the fleshiest area with the least nerve
endings. I never understood why someone would shoot themselves in a more sensitive
area like the leg or shoulder.
The temptation for someone who may not know better, is to place the needle in the lower
part of the butt cheek. It's the softest and presumably the easiest to penetrate. The
problem with this location is the sciatic nerve runs through the middle and lower area of
the buttock and if you hit it while injecting, they'll have to scrape you off the ceiling.
The area where you'd inject is the upper outer quadrant of the cheek but not so high
where you'll hit your pelvis bone. Feel around for the muscle. That's where it needs to go.
WHAT
The standard size needle is 22 or 23 gauge and 1 1/2 inches in length. I'm not sure why
this has become the standard but I believe it's longer and thicker than necessary. A one
inch, 25 gauge needle works fine for anyone under 250 pounds or so. They can be
purchased through any veterinarian supply house. 25 gauge is the standard for dogs.
While you're at it, order some thicker 18 gauge pins. I'll explain why in a minute.
Using a 25 gauge for injecting does require a little more pressure to get the oil through
the needle but you're pretty strong, aren't you big boy? Actually, it's better that the oil
comes out a little slower. It allows the oil to be dispersed evenly instead of congesting
near the skin surface. It should be mentioned, this procedure concerns only oil based
injections. Winstrol Depot, which contains tiny granules in a water base, may not
penetrate a 25 gauge needle.
WHEN
Don't even attempt to inject something that isn't in a sterile environment. Needles that
have been exposed are garbage. Throw them away! NEVER re-use a needle. Wash your
hands and lay out a clean towel where you can place everything you need. If you're using
a vial that needs to be filed, use the serrated end of a clean knife. If you're using a plungetop
vial, (the kind that you turn upside down), wipe the top with a swab of alcohol before
drawing the fluid into the syringe. Make sure not to extend the needle above the fluid in
the vial or you'll get unwanted air into the syringe.
Regarding drawing out the oil, a thicker gauge needle will be necessary. You'll never be
able to draw with a 25 gauge. Besides, if you're drawing the solution from a vial with a
rubber stopper, it will dull the needle. (Dull needles hurt more.) That's where the 18
gauge comes in. Unscrew the needle on the hypo and screw on the 18 to draw out the
required dosage. It'll take just a few seconds. Unscrew the 18 and replace the 25. You can
save the 18 gauge for future use if it's kept clean but pins are so cheap you might as well
splurge for a new one each time and keep things perfectly sanitary.
Never pull on the plunger before filling it because it will reduce the suction, making it
harder to draw.
Once filled to the proper dosage, tap the syringe by flicking it with the back of the nail of
your middle finger (just like they do in the movies) to make sure any air bubbles rise to
the top. Squirt a drop out of the tip of the needle to make sure there's no trapped air and to
lubricate the pin with some oil. I love when they do that in the movies as they're about to
kill someone with a lethal injection. Let's not take any unnecessary risks now!
HOW
There are a few tricks that can make this procedure virtually pain free. One is to run the
filled syringe under hot water for a minute. This increases the viscosity of the oil
allowing for a smooth transition. If you're really afraid of a little pinch (which is really all
it amounts to with a 25 gauge) you can hold an ice cube on the intended injection site for
about a minute. That'll numb it. (Make sure you wet the cube first or it may stick to your
skin). Slapping the area will also numb it and loosen the muscle.
Look in a mirror and view the area where you want the needle to go in. If you have a
birthmark nearby, use that as a target.
If you're right-handed, while holding the syringe in your right hand, reach across your
body and pull the skin near the intended entrance site (right cheek) taunt with your left
hand.
Put your weight on your left leg. Stay relaxed. If you tense up it will hurt more.
Push the needle in firmly. Don't stab! But don't go too easy or it won't penetrate properly.
If you try and cheat by just having a portion of the needle in, the steroid will get trapped
in the fat and won't circulate properly. It may also cause swelling at the injection site.
Think as if you want to pop a balloon with a dart. That should be just about right.
This may sound stupid, but don't think about the needle. Think about your belly button.
(This works -- really!) Once the needle is in, it's recommended that you draw the plunger
back to check for blood. Honestly, I find this practice very impractical. It's so difficult to
see, considering the positioning. Besides, that area of the glutes doesn't have any major
arteries running through it. At the very worst, you'll break a capillary or run through a
small vein. Have an alcohol swab ready if you bleed after you pull the needle out. At any
rate, it shouldn't be more than a drop or two. The butt checks are fat and fleshy (at least
mine are) and don't have many blood vessels near the epidermis.
Push down the plunger steadily and firmly until it's empty. Keep it straight. Don't twist or
bend bend the syringe.
After completing the injection, quickly pull the needle out quickly and massage the area
to help disperse the oil. You may feel the oil running down the inside of your leg which
might freak some people out. Don't worry, it's normal and it actually can be prevented by
lying down and elevating the legs. If possible, alternate the left and right cheek if you're
planning more than 2 injections a week.
WHY
Well, we all know why we do this. Bigger muscles! It does a body good.
There are always unforeseen risks. One never knows if they may have an allergy to
something. The worst case scenario is when someone has such an adverse reaction they
go into anaphylactic shock which can result in paralysis or heart attack. Granted, it's a
one in a million chance, but it exists. That's why doctors have a vial of adrenaline
prepared in case they need to immediately revive a patient. I would imagine if you asked
a doctor how many times he needed to use it, the chances are he'll say; "never." If you're
thinking about having a vial of adrenaline handy...stop thinking. You won't be able to use
it even if you knew how because if you actually went into anaphylactic shock, you'd be
unconscious in a matter of seconds. So if you're still standing 30 seconds after injecting,
you'll probably live.
Sticking yourself may be harrowing but it doesn't have to be painful. Everybody starts out
as a wuss when it comes to needles. I sure was. But before long, I became a full fledged
juice shooting slut. Still, there's no reason not to do things the easy way.
Hopefully these tips will make your venture a little less nerve wracking.
Step by step for vials
- Wash your hands.
- Disinfect the top of the vial.
- Use a syringe with a volume of twice the required amount of liquid or solution and add the needle.
- Suck up as much air as the amount of solution needed to aspirate.
- Insert needle into (top of) vial and turn upside down.
- Pump air into vial (creating pressure).
- Aspirate the required amount of solution and 0.1 ml extra. Make sure the tip of the needle is below the fluid surface.
- Pull the needle out of the vial.
- Remove possible air from the syringe.
- Clean up; dispose of waste safely; wash your hands.
Step by step for vials
- Wash your hands.
- Disinfect the top of the vial.
- Use a syringe with a volume of twice the required amount of liquid or solution and add the needle.
- Suck up as much air as the amount of solution needed to aspirate.
- Insert needle into (top of) vial and turn upside down.
- Pump air into vial (creating pressure).
- Aspirate the required amount of solution and 0.1 ml extra. Make sure the tip of the needle is below the fluid surface.
- Pull the needle out of the vial.
- Remove possible air from the syringe.
- Clean up; dispose of waste safely; wash your hands.
