Okay.
Due to serious back issues, losing my house, my job, other serious family stuff and other negative things I just couldn't train and got very low lost a huge am out of size.
Currently getting lean now...about 17% currently so still chubby.
Looking at getting down to about 8% and just cruising on 200 test e or a bit less just until stuff is healed up and being a skinny typical "beach boy" type look until I am gtg again.
Now. I have come to accept sadly I will never be able to lift heavy anymore which for me is gutting because lifting heavy was my primary coping mechanism for life and my mental health. When I'd get sad i would lift. Angry? Walk outside to a scaffold and do Chins until fail....heave as much weight as I could off some safety rails on a bench set up. Bored? Push ups. Happy? Squats!
Now that I have lost my coping mechinism I'll have to find a new one..a Healthy one...Unfortunately turned back to food again recently like I did when I was a teenager.
So I wil have to make do with high volume training with light weights and just learn to deal with my limitations as heart breaking as that is for me.
Lifting for me isn't about the results. It isn't about the look...looking in the mirror all big lean vascular hard boulder shoulders big traps chisled jaw big thick wide chest ripped abs leading down to huge sweeping veiny legs with coke cans for calves...it is about feeling my body move...feeling the weight on you...feeling yourself conquer a challenge you thought was a pipe dream. The best feeling isn t looking like a God. It is feeling your body move and swell up and strain...looking at a guy in the gymbyoh admire and doubting you could ever be like him. You know? The big lean amazing guy. One of "them"...the unachievable...and 9 months later you are bigger and leaner than him. That it why I train. Or at least used to. I am old before my time at age 20 with serious injuries so I'll have to move on past that now.
Since I cannot train super serious any longer, I just want to look good and get some good pumps in the gym.
Not fussed about being all this 3-6% bf shredded anymore simply because I cannot be like that anymore and honestly it is hell to get there. I'll never be able to compete on stage so what is the point for me, sadly?
I'd like to sit around 8%-12% body fat and have a nice lean delicate type physique nowadays rather than he big hulking body I have had in he past that my joints cannot support.
How do I blow up correctly? Lokig at getting to 8% bf small and bukkig to 14 ish then cutting to 10% and keeping there ideally.
Not willing to use insulin and do not need to...same with hgh. Also kjowig myself insulin will
I was thinking something like 300-500 test e 50-100 mg ED npp 50 mg ED tren ace and some sdrol at 10-20 mg.