What really gets to me is I know all the theory of how to get to where I need to.

I am educated in all the areas to do this...It is just my scenario, mental state and inability to accept my limitations that keeps screwing me up.

I really wish I could just put my brain inside someone else's body with the right physical qualities and just get to work. Like my friend for example...Really great build...good leverages thick bones no injures big hands wide clavicles. He is clinically obese and just moans about it. I try and give him advice and he just goes like "I don't want to lift weights though" went for a run with him before my back injury and he quit after not even barely trying and just went "I'm done" and walked home...and I am just Sat there in front of him like trying not to tear up because I'd do anything to be able to have the potential he does. I'd love to be able to run and jump about and lift properly and he just wastes himself eats pizza and complains he's like 40% body Fat. I have him a solid plan which would have got him to great shape in a year and he just tried it and then have up after 10 days and it wasn't even hard.

I'd be SO happy if I could just not have these limits. The happiest I ever was when I was broke had nothing apart from the gym and I'd just spend 3 hrs squatting at a time in pure bliss and the next day Sprint until I couldn't anymore and ride my bike and run.