A bit off topic but has anyone here ever felt guilty for use or felt bad for use because of the results coming faster than being natural?

The first time I got blood work after abusing a lot of high dose orals for bench only power and my lipids were in the absoluteb toilet...heart disease risk labelled "urgent change of lifestyle required" on it and I was just like "what have i done to my poor body just so I could lift a weight?"
Also when I took tren for the first time and I got lean almost instantly and my poor friend was hormone free doibg keto while I was sat there eating Pizza infront of him and I really felt bad and Like my work in the gym wasn't very impressive because of how much others I knew were suffering to lean down and I was just blasting tren and eating 3000 kcal a day of mostly junk while Doing an hr of walking per day and training an hr in the gym 3-4x a week while my natty friends were weighing all their food Doing cyclic ketov all that lots of cardio lots of high volume traijig on like 1600-2000 and really suffering.

Anyone here ever felt this way at any point in their carrear of use?

Don't mean to troll, honestly asking this. Ever had horrific bloods and just question if this was the best choice you have made, blew everyone away while working less etc