restarting completely (2)

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Last thread got filled up.

Basically momentum has been lost.

Was riding my bike and the handlebar came loose and fell off completely wrecking my back. Experiencing tingling and numbness in hands and feet so obviously serious buisiness which I cannot risk training through.

Been in and out of hospital past few days also due to unrelated incidence NOT to do with anything related here.

Due to being in hospital obviously diet fell to pieces so had to live off of vending machine candies and sandwhiches.

Just resting up now and just having to accept that life is giving me a shitty hand currently.

Oh well.

If this handn't happened I would be about 8 weeks away from my goal.

Now I am probably months and months.

Finally getting NHS physio very soon as my Dr is very worried about the neurological issues.

Just hoping things improve soon, unsure how much more I can be tested with this.

Really trying my hardest only for everything to go wrong all at once over and over.

[eggy790]

you say you were 8 weeks away from your goal? any progress pics from what you started with to where you got to? always good for motivation

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I was dropping, by calipers, 0.5% body fat per day. Likely inaccurate though. I was only on 1400-1700 kcal a day doing HIIT every day while doing a 4 day split on trenbolone. Only consuming essential fats. Theory was that the nutrient parting effects of tren with all the glycogen depletion would have basically "fooled" my body into only having the calories from fats being available to my body for storage...around 200-300 kcal per day. With a TDEE so large on an intake so small my body was very calorie negative.

Bearing in mind I still looked like mash potatoes...just less mashed per day lol! I'd rather not upload anything right now because quite honestly I am very embarrassed about how I currently present myself physically. I'd like to upload a before and after when I have achieved my goals

Remember I have looked good before and do have photos here so I am not BSing.

As of right now I look totally horrible. Cheating on diet etc due to hospital unable to do literally anything at all barely.I was getting my abs back, top 4 visible serratus visible. I'd have said another 8 weeks of such progress and I would have been where I would have liked to be...About 10% body fat but small. Not body dysmorphia small but legitimately small. 150-160 lbs 10ish% at 5 ft 7.

[eggy790]

no worries mate, not easy to function on such low calories while on tren, fair play, i crave carbs on tren, keep at it, dont let lifes lil challenges keep you down.. get back up and keep on going pal

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Thank-you I needed that
Was getting very low...tempted to binge badly
Everyone around me is frighteningly negative and it just makes me want to give up at times. I see my family sit down with a big bowl of ice cream, all overweight or obese, and they really make me feel bad sometimes.

I have explained to them and they are trying to understand now.

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Gah. Completely disgusted. Ended up binging. Ice cream, cake etc every where being offered.

I feel sick at myself

[eggy790]

its ok dont try to eat 100% clean set ya daily calorie target, using me as an example i aim for 200g protein, 175 carbs and 50g fat and then every 3rd day have a 265g high carb day, but i eat 70% ish clean, just record ya cals on my fitness pal, add a cake slice etc. here and there just dont go over ya macros, im sure i have a kinda bueno stick everyday atm lol but dont go over my fat intake etc. like u said before, u aint competing etc. no need to go to extremes, do what u love doing having fun along the way. my wife loves the high carb days when im less fussy on intake.

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No I mean I legitimately binged.

6000 kcal+.

Honestly I'd much rather not eat cake at all. I don't have junk in my house because when I cut I just can't have a slice of cake...No...I just go tunnel vision and the entire cake is gone. Same with chocolate etc. I wish the crap didn't exist Honestly. All these fake foods act like are drugs...you eat them and you just want...need more and more. Why do I need ice cream cake pizza. Sure it is nice but I just wish it all didn't exist. I wish all that existed was good whole foods not hyperpalatable crap junk rubbish which triggers cravings. I guess that is just me. I live in extremes with everything.

Autism gives people really bad sweet tooth and palate for carbs/starch.

For example a "trigger food" for me is simply just white bread...dry...on its own...just simply because of the starch. Deep into cut I have once just wolfed two loaves of simply dry white bread before.

Another one strangely is Jam...condiments.

Also low fat dairy produce.

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I do have major issues with binge eating btw
Having been 16 years old and 18 st 5 ft 6 for the wrong reasons 46-48 inch waist it is a daemon I face every day.

I would always binge eat as a way to manage emotions, mainly anxiety. Also I struggle with what is supposed to be a "treat" like a slice of cake turns into another slice of cake turns into a whole cake turns into me the next day getting another cake and a bar of chocolate then a multi pack of chocolate and then I binge for a week solid and put on 20 lbs of fat.

It is why I like to eat totally clean as much as I can. I don't have 50 g of oats then go have 100 g then binge on oats for a week. It is always that chocolate bar, Oreo, slice of cake, pie etc. One Oreo goes to another goes to a pack goes to another pack goes to a small chocolate bar goes to a family size one.

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It is a world of crap out there
I find once I reset my behaviour Patterns I am gtg. I imagine shit foods like chocolate etc as images printed on a piece of paper in the store....like they don't exist. I keep my kcal at maint at this time then once I haven't eaten crap and I have programmed myself to view these foods as images on paper with no quantity I then start cutting.

And it works!

What then wrecks it is then I have a bar and then your brain links the ascocoation to it actually being a food rather than something which isn't real and then it all goes out the window food cravings come back.

Your body doesn't need want or ask for crap junk. Your limbic system does. Reprogram that and how the prefrontal cortex evaluates it and you are fine.

Also. Your limbic system doesn't bwork in negatives. So if you say to yourself over and over "I don't want that chocolate/cake/pie etc" your brain actually takes that as "I want that chocolate/cake/pie" lol
Ever notice how kids are like "hey Timmy don't touch that stove it's really hot you'll get hurt" what do they do? Well they probably didn't even think about the stove first let alone touch it then what happens 2 mins later? "I BURNED MY HAND HELP ME!" Why? Limbic system. Toddlers run on the LS because the prefrontal Cortex hasn't matured.

We carry that child brain with us. "I really don't want that chocolate"="I really want that chocolate"

"I don't want to mess up my diet"="I want to mess up my diet" that then relays to the PFC and bam you mess up ur diet. Ever notice you worry about stuff then it happens? This is the reason why.