Aggreaaion is getting.more severe

anyone that raises their voice or shows aggression towards me gets a no holds barred reaponse. Cannot stand it. Usually I am a really quiet passive almost meek peraon so people treat me like a.punching bag for whatever reason. There is this this asshole friend of my mothers that comes to tjlhe house sometimes. I got my milk out of the fridge and thougbt that there was less in there than expected so in a really plesant non angry tone (I wasnt angry, I wouldnt have cared if he had used aome of my
milk as long as he told me so I wouldnt ruin my
prot intake for the day)
I said with a smile in a good mood "Hey man, don't suppose you used any of thia milk for a cup of tea did you? I don't-" and before I could finish he just cut me off ahoutig like "NO I DIDNT USae YOUR MILK. WHY WOULD I FUCKING USE YOUR MILK FOR? DONT ACVUSE ME OF USING YOUR MILK!" I then replied in an angry tone "I wasnt accusing you of anything, I just wanted to know, I dont mid if you used a bit if you just told me" so he kept shouting like "Why would I use your shit for? I can afford my.own food blahblahblah" to which poit I exploded started ahouting loudly at him saying stuff like "dot talk to.me like that I was just asking a light hearted question you fuckig asshole" whilest starting him down then he started ahouting and tried getting in my face to which point all hell broke loose with me shouting like a drill instructor in hia face saying atuff like "cmon then har man fucking hit me! Get in y face ill slit your fucking throat!"
I then walked off

also even worse night aweats last night at 3 hrs sleep

weigbt ia going up about a kg (2.2 lbs) a day

It is really hard tl keep your cool on this stuff. Stay away if you are an angry person or have to keep a cool head or deal with people. Seriously right.now one shitty angry glance from somrone or someoe talking to.me wjth a raised angry voice for.no reason sets me.off so bad it is scary. Lack of sleep isnt helping. I am not angry most the time, just angered farrrrrrr easier when someone acts shitty towards me for a stupid trivial reason or just.to big themselves up. Ill be 100% fine and calm most the time but all it takes os for some aggreasive pugnacious asshole to start on me and I snap like a motherfuker. Like usually someone will act shitty to me and treat.me like a pjnching bag and Ill just feel bad/angry and hold onto it and use it for my training and just take their shit without saying much back lr challenging them, now I just explode and get in theor face and woulsnt give it a 2nd thought to so serious damage to them if they dared get physical. Even when peoplw get physical with me ill just say "get off me" and at.mosy shove them away now Id probably aim to do a much damage a possible withoht caring like stomping down on both theor knees with full force severing their acl lcl and pattella tendons putting them in a wheelchakr and punching their theoat or somethig or like grabjing their haor and alamming their head down as hard as I could onto my knee while kneeibg them a hard a I could

I have always felt the desire to do this to people who treat me like ahit but now that inhibition of "I dont want to upset thia peraon by ahoutkg back or getting physical back and hurting them" has gone out the window and I would. Not in the mood to look for fighta.. You are a piece of ahit if you do that.. But id go all out and aim to kill if aomeone punched me or something