And yes. You are correct. I do have an eating disorder and that paired with coming out of a very calorie deprived state (diet rebound) + being around very calorie dense food= didaster

I am not going to mask anythjng. I am gojng to be 100% real. It is not just one thing's fault. It is accumulated stress and disorders all coming out at once. Eq would have been one stress factor. There are many other that filled up the psychological tank and just caused a blow out.

You are 100% correct in the fact the psst few posts I was rationalising things....I was. Now I am honest with myself.

Again...I say...if you just put togethrr a scenario...crafted one and taylor made one to destroy my mind entirely and just case me to collapse it would be this one. Seriously. Every. Single. Little. Detail. In my life contributed to this scenario. Just everything made me get to this state over the course of months and months.

That plus psychatric very deep rooted issues going back to childhood traumas as well ss having autism and well...it was just a scenario for an absolute complete total psyche crumble.

Seriously. My psyche completely crumbled. My focus for life, my dreams, my motivation, my outlook on life....all changed hugely within a few days.
And having autism makes it ultra distressing to deal with change.

The whole scenario is just a total mess. A total 100% mess.

The truth is thst is isn't eq at all. It is my mindset. My toxic unsustainable mindset having autism + my scenario + environment + childhood

If a stable sane person were to take eq nothjng would have happened masively. More hungry? Yeah. More vasculsr? Yep. Delts snd tight skin? Yep. A bit more worried and anxious? Possibly.
A complete psychatric explosion resulting in hospitalisation? Absolutely fucking not.