restarting completely advice needed

Chest tris today

Feel so frail

This is pathetic. This is what happens when you let depression win

Did legs as well
Traps have grown already as well as delta.

Squat u to 4x10 100 kg.

This time last year I was ohp strict standing what I squat.

People at the gym have noticed I have grown significantly already.

PT at the gym reckons abs within 6 mos if I work hard and def within 12 if I am not making it my life.

Annnd body dysmorphia kicked in. I am not like 40% he reckons 16%-20%. I am still unsure about that though.

Putting kcal at 1800

I have ab pins coming back in kind of

Just doing high volume stuff

30 miles today riden on my bike

Legs are growing by the day

Did GVT style leg session today then a 10 mile bike ride right after.

Dying.

Current macros: 130 c 180 prot 60 fat.

Dying on my poverty macros

You will burn yourself out once again. Why do you keep your cals so low?

Because I don't have much lean tissue on me, apart from gym and cardio I am inactive all day and honestly I am not hungry and it saves money

Felt a bit shitty yesterday but I am good now

1800 is a lot of good food like oats prawns chicken turkey etc. I am fat right nkw k don't deserve to eat shit atm.

If I cheat I have a small Donner kebab without the pitta bread

Nobody said that you have to cheat, just eat more clean food. If you have not much lean tissue then cutting that hard wont help you to begin with.
You need a surplus to build muscle. I am not talking about 1k + cals surplus but more like 500.

I hear you of course, but why change what it working right now? I am getting leaner while my LBM is coming back and strength is coming back

I am not hungry either

I thoroughly believe you can build muscle in a **slight** deficit providing protein is high enough, traning is on point and you are on some gear.

On just 250 mg/w test I went from pretty flabby to having ab outlines while growing my lats and arms massively just by going into a 500-300 deficit per day and doing 5xf chins every day and eating green lentils and chicken breast and peanut butter 5x a day when I was poor. My friend went from **42% body fat** with a 44 inch waist to 32 inch waist in like 16 weeks while adding strength to his bench press squat and deadlift and building a tonne of lean body tissue while in a 500 deficit on just 500 mg/w test and 20 dbol here and there.

I have a tonne of muscle memory, I am on testosterone and trenbolone. I don't see how it cannot work. It will be slow, yes, of course, but that is how it is.

Hell, I was talking to an indian woman. Went from 111 Kg morbidly obese to 60 Kg with abs in just 10 months! 25% fat 45% protein 30% carbs 1600 kcal a day. 5x5 5 days per week and 45 mins LISS 3x a week 1x 20 min HIIT session per week.
And she was like 111 Kg of pure flab. Completely sedate. Built a tonne of lean tissue and that was hormone free as a female.

My immediate goal right now is not to look shredded on stage as a BBer but simply to get some abs while being a skinny fuck (honestly, I'll be happy looking like a small physique competitor) and then whenever I want to I can just blow the hell back up again when I save enough money for the hormones, food and when my injuries are healed enough to lift heavy again.

I reckon if I were to go balls out I could easily add 40-50 lbs of LBM in a 16-20 week cycle. I have no car, no dependants etc so I could save up for a 20 week super-blast such as 5 IU/d hGH some insulin 100-150 mg/d tren ace 1.2 g/w test e 20 mg/d superdrol etc progress calories by 300 each week and do GVT.

Wow now this is some motivation:

http://imgur.com/a/MjkXl

Exact height as this guy

I am *way* less fat than him and more lean body tissue.

He did this in just 10 months doing less than I am and he was hormone free.

I reckon I can get this done in a solid 6 months

Fuck I cheated diet ..

Not bad just had a little extra peanut butter and some non fat Greek yogurt

Total kcal count about 2400 today.

So still less than the 2500 maintenance I apparently have.

Think I'll go up to 2000 on training days

Mad cravings all the time on 1800

Thats what i meant when i said that you will burn yourself out.
Your willpower can be strong but you can't resist these low calorie cravings for too long.

Makes me wonder how the hell obese people survive through these 800-1200 kcal a day diets long term.

Know a girl who followed a 1200 kcal diet to the T for like 4 months while having a 2500 kcal a day maint doing tonnes of cardio being active AND she didn't binge at all coming off it. No rebound. Just slowly reverse dieted and now is on 1800 kcal training days 1600 rest. Lost like 56 lbs in a year and she is still going.

She is doing really well now ANNNDDDD she works in a store which gives away the remaining left over baked goods to the employees there for free or like 20 pence or less per day. Will power of diamond. Absolutely amazing.

DAMN IT I ATE HALF A FRICKIN' CAKE. WHY.

Walked 8 miles out to see my grandparents... what is there right there after I have just gone hypo from cardio after training on the table? BIG ASS CHOCOLATE CAKE. Thing is damn HUGE fudge all over it...cupcakes on the cake itself. Like this insane cake with cakes on it.

Immediately leave the room.

Then I get offered "You can have as much as that as you want you know".

Refuse...go and use the computer to study and take mind off it. Start smelling it from the table.

Then just got a knife and just started taking little bits out of it to taste it then I took a small slice sat back down....nope Powertard the fat fucker has to go and return to the cake and take the biggest slice out of it that you'll ever see like the size of a large block of cheese and just eat the entire thing.

Very upset with myself. I was making super progress.

GAH.

I think I'll just have to get some Ephedrine.

Last time I took even small dose of it, I simply couldn't eat.

I see someone rated this 5 stars...probably for comedic value lol